WEEK 7
It was a great day! I felt pretty good most of the day, got my laundry done with some help. I'm not quite feeling amazing like the first few days of Week 1, but still I don't feel to shabby. It's late-ish and I'd like to get off my computer and go to sleep so I will write more in the morning. Overall, good day. Before I forget, got a rash on my backside, near the butthole area where its been getting too much action from the enema tubes. Awesome. Note the sarcasm. Good night =D
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Good morning! Day 2 of this week. I'm feeling okay. Of course I still have headaches and migraines, sinuses are still swelling up and down, new rash on my butt (that's enjoyable, not!) and I'm pretty tired. Otherwise, it's a good day. I'm thinking pretty clearly and really able to stand up for myself and set my boundaries well the last few days...which isn't really helping the situation with my mother. However, I am proud of myself for being clear that it's not that I don't worry about money or other issues, just that they aren't as important as my basic survival and I'm trying so desperately not to allow myself to stress out...that went over like a ton of bricks. Bound to get better...I hope.
I also had a great idea that I would list everything that I need throughout the week and just pay someone a flat rate. If they get it done quickly or slowly, then there's no stress on me and everything gets done without me going broke or over-exerting myself to get stuff done. It's a thought. I wonder if I can get someone for $200 per week to juice, cook, clean up the kitchen and help me with walking the dog and doing laundry. I think I need to chew on this a bit.
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This week has gone by in a serious flash. I have had to deal with some stress that hasn't helped at all, but for the most part it isn't getting to me as much as last week when I was having some flare-ups. My mood is great, I'm feeling pretty good. I get worn out some and I'm looking to next week to be a bit daunting, but I should be okay. I'm doing my best to stick to the schedule. I have a zillion interviews lined up for the coming week to begin in March. I really have a good selection of people coming in, as far as I can tell by their initial emailed interest.
Now I need to focus on dealing with the water situation...both for the shower and in the kitchen. I think I need to suck it up and order the distiller and then get the Zero Water filter. I also need to work on getting some kind of filter for the shower or maybe a camping shower...though, honestly, I don't know enough about the camping shower to make a good choice yet. I did start sponge bathing myself last night and it worked out pretty well. I can't wash my hair that way, but I managed to clean the rest of my body and that was a very good thing.
Well, I hope you're well. I realize that people are actually reading this now. It's a little weird, but I hope whomever you are you are finding some helpful information and don't feel alone. Take good care and God bless.
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This is an update from Day 3. This afternoon has been not so great. I just wanted to let you know that while I feel emotionally quite well today that physically I'm exhausted and having a hard time. I'm having a hard time eating and juicing. I've fallen behind a bit of the nutrition and the supplements. I think it's mostly because I was busy and then didn't feel so well afterwards to get caught up. The day is almost through and I'm fine with that as I've been in bed for hours already. It will get better tomorrow but I had to take an advil today. I think it's been a two or three days since I broke down and took an advil. I think the increase of coffee enemas has really helped relieve that pain...plus, I've been using colloidal silver spray for my sinuses twice a day.
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Good morning. I didn't sleep well, but per what the new normal seems to be I woke up and did a coffee enema, took it easy managing to get in my morning supplements, drinking my fresh orange juice with potassium and lugol's and got in a few bites of my oatmeal. Now I'm feeling a bit better. I am still a little tired, but I don't feel so yucky or swollen any more.
I am a little anxious about today and this week. I have a fair amount going on. Today I have a serious appointment with my Internist whom I've not seen in almost 2 years. He will review my files, ask me some questions and decide to either release me and write a final evaluation or require more tests and to continue treatment. I'm not really so anxious about meeting with this doctor. What I'm anxious about is the very real possibility of sitting in the office waiting for hours just to see the doctor. My tailbone is still really bothering me, my face is itchy, I feel mildly irritable, I hate going to this doctor's office anyway (which most of my doctor's are there, so I get zero relief from the nightmare that office is...between the overcrowding, the loud television that is on without fail, having to sit there and deal with the painfully rude and incompetent front office personnel, with exception to one whom is generally kind and almost makes up for the rest of them).
In addition to my appointment today with the doctor, this week I have more than a few interviews to conduct and have to let my current caregiver go. I know she's not expecting it but I have a feeling that she needs this to end as badly as I do. I have mulled it over and tried my best to really help her to do what I need, but the stress of paying for services I'm not really getting is more than the stress of having to let her go. I only have so much money and I need some help with things...it's important that I get help with it all and not have someone spending all day slowly cooking and juicing just to avoid the other chores I need help with (ie: laundry, mopping, vacuuming, walking the dog, dusting, etc.) Having a caregiver is necessary for my recovery and I am willing to pay for it just to ease the burden from myself...and if my mom is upset because stuff isn't getting done, I am the one she yells out which creates more stress. This can't happen. I suspect it will get easier to be an employer, but it's really not something I'm used to. Personally I do like my current caregiver, but she's not effective, efficient or (sad to say) ethical and that really bothers me. I will be moving on after this week.
Well, that about wraps up my current anxiety. Oh, I bought the water distiller and then was so excited to tell my dad...only to find out that the one I bought was not the one he was recommending...whew, so glad that company helped me out and refunded me ASAP before shipping it out. That would have been a disaster. As for the shower business...I'm thinking that I will sponge bathe myself often and 2-3 times a week just use pitchers of filtered, distilled water to clean my hair and whatnot. I am still working on the logistics but I'm sure it will need adjustments as time goes on. One concern is that while I would like to take a shower everyday, I can't make that much distilled water (up to 6 gallons in 24 hrs) and considering that I have to use a bunch of it for cooking and other cleaning there just isn't enough to go around. Or I could just keep buying the water and filter it through the Zero Water filter/container. IDK, I will continue considering my options and try to make the best choice possible. It's almost a relief that I got a refund on the distiller because I'm not 100% that is the best route as of today.
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Update on the day. Some good stuff, some crummy stuff, but all survivable. Dr appt went well. He spend all of 5-10 minutes but I think it went well. Tailbone hurts from sitting for over an hour in the waiting room...I forgot my seat cushion. Afterwards Mom drove us over to Osh for some of that organic soil I've been wanting to get, then to Mother's Market for a few items and some lunch. Long story short I was stuck out and was too hungry...usually okay to eat at Mother's, but this time all they had was rice. I ended up eating some items that I knew I would end up paying for...there was some salt and oil in most everything. I did, however, avoid cheese, meat, soy and overeating. Well, my deal with the Colon Devil was a bum deal after all...I didn't get swollen or really get a headache. I did get a mean case of diarrhea which not only sucked but is worse when you have to do the coffee enemas. I'm hoping this all stops soon.
In addition, I finally let my caregiver go. I wussed out and did it via text message and didn't really give her any notice. As bothered as I am by that, it's actually less bothersome than the stress and anxiety caused by the issues of keeping her. I also interviewed another caregiver, set up several other interviews for the week and got some rest in.
Well, I'm going to finish watching some more programs on Hulu and then go to sleep. I didn't rest well last night, but I suspect I will be able to do much better tonight.
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Well, I made it to the end of Week 7 (really Week 4) of the Gerson Therapy. It's been tough. I re-implemented the castor oil enemas and found that I really do need to do those 2-3 times per week because those toxins need to be out of my system, and not sitting around getting reabsorbed. But they sure are draining!
Also, I'm still looking for a new caregiver. I have 4 more applicants to interview today. I am considering calling the top 2 or 3 and asking them to come Friday-Sunday (one day each) to see how it would work out. I will just pay them hourly for that work.
It occurred to me a while back that you may be interested in my schedule and what I've been doing with more details. While it's been a work -in-progress, I will copy over the spreadsheet today so you have a better idea of what I've been up to, the frequency and the time. It's more challenging than I thought to stay on schedule and mostly it's okay in the morning, but as the day goes on I tend to fall behind and end up playing catch up with the supplements, but often never catch up with all of the juices.
I thought everything was going well as I had been splitting the groceries and toilet paper and whatnot with my mom. Well, that's changing. She complaining that she pays for half and doesn't even get that much. I didn't feel bad before because she was using my caregiver to prepare food and juices for her too. I thought it was a good idea to split the TP in half since I use more wet wipes lately (and I pay 100% of that) and then thought we should readjust the food split to more like me paying 66% and Mom paying 33%. I really don't see how that's not a fair deal. She just keeps saying that she has no money, as though I should pay her way too. As it stands I already am going in the hole and dipping into my savings (which is some money that I pulled from my retirement fund) every single month. I cannot and will not afford to pay the way of a perfectly healthy, employed mother. This is the time I need to lean on her. I need to lean on her for: a place to live, rides to the grocery store (which she buys her groceries too, so I don't feel like she's going too much out of her way for me), emotional support, help with cooking and cleaning and really just helping me to manage through this very hard time. This is what I need, but this is not at all what I get. It's truly a shame how she relies on me even when I'm at my sickest. I would be ashamed if I was her. Fortunately, I got this bible verse today from that Bible App on my phone:
Luke 6:27-28
"But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you."
I suppose instead of feeling sorry for myself I should really remember that Jesus would help her out anyway, though she's undeserving. It just breaks my heart that so simply put, my own mother is often my enemy who hates, abuses and curses me.
I know what you're thinking. Yes, she probably will read this. She will think I'm just upset and not seeing things clearly. No one really ever likes to confront her because even on the smallest things it's like the start of WWIII and I just don't have the energy to suck it up and push on through that kind of drama. Just know, that given the opportunity, I will be so far gone away from her that it's not even funny.
The day will come that I can once again be on my own, taking care of myself with God's love and support. I can have sane, productive days in which I don't feel I'm walking on eggshells. Those peaceful moments will return in my life. For now, I am grateful that I am taken care of and have enough to be able to survive.
Well, I'm already exhausted and have an interview shortly and it's not quite 9 AM. So for now I will attach a copy of that schedule and close this out for the day. BTW-I can't believe that I nearly forgot to tell you that I'm down to 250.5 as of yesterday late afternoon.
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| 7:00 AM |
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| 7:05 AM | 1) Snack on fruit | ||
| 2) M/W/F-On Castor Oil days: drink 2T castor oil & drink 3/4c coffee w/ 1t sugar | |||
| 7:15 AM | Coffee enema | ||
| 8:15 AM | 1) Eat breakfast, drink OJ (8-12oz); add 4-Lugol's drops & 2tsp-potassium | ||
| 2) 2-Acidol/Digestol caps; 1-50mg Niacin; 3-Liver caps; 3-Pancreatin tabs (MORN) | |||
| 3) 200mg-CoQ10 (Wk5-300mg, Wk6-400mg etc up to 600mg) <--Split throughout day | |||
| 9:15 AM | Green juice (12oz); add 2tsp-potassium | ||
| 10:15 AM | Carrot/Apple juice (8oz); add 2tsp-potassium, 1-50mg Niacin & 3 liver tablets (BLUE AM) | ||
| 10:30 AM |
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| 2) Coffee(T/Th/Sa/Su) or Castor Oil enema (M/W/F) | |||
| 11:00 AM | 1) Carrot juice (8oz) | ||
| 2) B12 (T/Th/Sa) | |||
| 3) Snack on fruit | |||
| 12:00 PM | Green juice (12-16oz); add 2tsp-potassium | ||
| 1:00 PM | Eat lunch: | ||
| 1) Carrot/Apple juice (8oz); add 4- Lugol's drops & 2tsp-potassium | |||
| 2) 2-Acidol/Digestol caps; 1-50mg Niacin; 3-Liver caps; 3-Pancreatin tabs; 1-Flaxseed (NOON) | |||
| 2:00 PM | Green juice (12-16oz): add 2tsp-potassium | ||
| 3:00 PM | 1) Fruit snack w/ 1-50mg Niacin & 3 liver tablets (BLUE PM) | ||
| 2) Coffee enema | |||
| 3:45 PM | 1) Green juice (12-16oz); add 2tsp-potassium | ||
| 5:00 PM | 1) Carrot/Apple juice (8oz); add 2tsp-potassium, take 1-50mg Niacin, 3-Pancreatin tabs & 1-Flaxseed (EVE) | ||
| 2) Make coffe concentrate for next day, let cool | |||
| 6:00 PM | 1) Green juice (12-16oz); add 2tsp-potassium | ||
| 3) Coffee enema | |||
| 7:00 PM | Eat dinner: | ||
| 1) Carrot juice (8oz); add 2tsp-potassium | |||
| 2) 2-Acidol/Digestol caps; 1-50mg Niacin; 3-Liver caps; 3-Pancreatin tabs (BED) | |||
| 3) Fruit snack plate | |||
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