Healing, a New and Personal Adventure: WK 7

WEEK 7

It was a great day!  I felt pretty good most of the day, got my laundry done with some help.  I'm not quite feeling amazing like the first few days of Week 1, but still I don't feel to shabby.  It's late-ish and I'd like to get off my computer and go to sleep so I will write more in the morning.  Overall, good day.  Before I forget, got a rash on my backside, near the butthole area where its been getting too much action from the enema tubes.  Awesome.  Note the sarcasm.  Good night =D
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Good morning!  Day 2 of this week.  I'm feeling okay.  Of course I still have headaches and migraines, sinuses are still swelling up and down, new rash on my butt (that's enjoyable, not!) and I'm pretty tired.  Otherwise, it's a good day.  I'm thinking pretty clearly and really able to stand up for myself and set my boundaries well the last few days...which isn't really helping the situation with my mother.  However, I am proud of myself for being clear that it's not that I don't worry about money or other issues, just that they aren't as important as my basic survival and I'm trying so desperately not to allow myself to stress out...that went over like a ton of bricks.  Bound to get better...I hope.

I also had a great idea that I would list everything that I need throughout the week and just pay someone a flat rate.  If they get it done quickly or slowly, then there's no stress on me and everything gets done without me going broke or over-exerting myself to get stuff done.  It's a thought.  I wonder if I can get someone for $200 per week to juice, cook, clean up the kitchen and help me with walking the dog and doing laundry.  I think I need to chew on this a bit.
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This week has gone by in a serious flash.  I have had to deal with some stress that hasn't helped at all, but for the most part it isn't getting to me as much as last week when I was having some flare-ups.  My mood is great, I'm feeling pretty good.  I get worn out some and I'm looking to next week to be a bit daunting, but I should be okay.  I'm doing my best to stick to the schedule.  I have a zillion interviews lined up for the coming week to begin in March.  I really have a good selection of people coming in, as far as I can tell by their initial emailed interest.

Now I need to focus on dealing with the water situation...both for the shower and in the kitchen.  I think I need to suck it up and order the distiller and then get the Zero Water filter.  I also need to work on getting some kind of filter for the shower or maybe a camping shower...though, honestly, I don't know enough about the camping shower to make a good choice yet.  I did start sponge bathing myself last night and it worked out pretty well.  I can't wash my hair that way, but I managed to clean the rest of my body and that was a very good thing.

Well, I hope you're well.  I realize that people are actually reading this now.  It's a little weird, but I hope whomever you are you are finding some helpful information and don't feel alone.  Take good care and God bless.
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This is an update from Day 3.  This afternoon has been not so great.  I just wanted to let you know that while I feel emotionally quite well today that physically I'm exhausted and having a hard time.  I'm having a hard time eating and juicing.  I've fallen behind a bit of the nutrition and the supplements.  I think it's mostly because I was busy and then didn't feel so well afterwards to get caught up.  The day is almost through and I'm fine with that as I've been in bed for hours already.  It will get better tomorrow but I had to take an advil today.  I think it's been a two or three days since I broke down and took an advil.  I think the increase of coffee enemas has really helped relieve that pain...plus, I've been using colloidal silver spray for my sinuses twice a day.
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Good morning.  I didn't sleep well, but per what the new normal seems to be I woke up and did a coffee enema, took it easy managing to get in my morning supplements, drinking my fresh orange juice with potassium and lugol's and got in a few bites of my oatmeal.  Now I'm feeling a bit better. I am still a little tired, but I don't feel so yucky or swollen any more.

I am a little anxious about today and this week.  I have a fair amount going on.  Today I have a serious appointment with my Internist whom I've not seen in almost 2 years.  He will review my files, ask me some questions and decide to either release me and write a final evaluation or require more tests and to continue treatment.  I'm not really so anxious about meeting with this doctor.  What I'm anxious about is the very real possibility of sitting in the office waiting for hours just to see the doctor.  My tailbone is still really bothering me, my face is itchy, I feel mildly irritable, I hate going to this doctor's office anyway (which most of my doctor's are there, so I get zero relief from the nightmare that office is...between the overcrowding, the loud television that is on without fail, having to sit there and deal with the painfully rude and incompetent front office personnel, with exception to one whom is generally kind and almost makes up for the rest of them).

In addition to my appointment today with the doctor, this week I have more than a few interviews to conduct and have to let my current caregiver go.  I know she's not expecting it but I have a feeling that she needs this to end as badly as I do.  I have mulled it over and tried my best to really help her to do what I need, but the stress of paying for services I'm not really getting is more than the stress of having to let her go.  I only have so much money and I need some help with things...it's important that I get help with it all and not have someone spending all day slowly cooking and juicing just to avoid the other chores I need help with (ie: laundry, mopping, vacuuming, walking the dog, dusting, etc.)  Having a caregiver is necessary for my recovery and I am willing to pay for it just to ease the burden from myself...and if my mom is upset because stuff isn't getting done, I am the one she yells out which creates more stress.  This can't happen.  I suspect it will get easier to be an employer, but it's really not something I'm used to.  Personally I do like my current caregiver, but she's not effective, efficient or (sad to say) ethical and that really bothers me.  I will be moving on after this week.

Well, that about wraps up my current anxiety.  Oh, I bought the water distiller and then was so excited to tell my dad...only to find out that the one I bought was not the one he was recommending...whew, so glad that company helped me out and refunded me ASAP before shipping it out.  That would have been a disaster.  As for the shower business...I'm thinking that I will sponge bathe myself often and 2-3 times a week just use pitchers of filtered, distilled water to clean my hair and whatnot.  I am still working on the logistics but I'm sure it will need adjustments as time goes on.  One concern is that while I would like to take a shower everyday, I can't make that much distilled water (up to 6 gallons in 24 hrs) and considering that I have to use a bunch of it for cooking and other cleaning there just isn't enough to go around.  Or I could just keep buying the water and filter it through the Zero Water filter/container.  IDK, I will continue considering my options and try to make the best choice possible.  It's almost a relief that I got a refund on the distiller because I'm not 100% that is the best route as of today.
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Update on the day.  Some good stuff, some crummy stuff, but all survivable.  Dr appt went well.  He spend all of 5-10 minutes but I think it went well.  Tailbone hurts from sitting for over an hour in the waiting room...I forgot my seat cushion.  Afterwards Mom drove us over to Osh for some of that organic soil I've been wanting to get, then to Mother's Market for a few items and some lunch.  Long story short I was stuck out and was too hungry...usually okay to eat at Mother's, but this time all they had was rice.  I ended up eating some items that I knew I would end up paying for...there was some salt and oil in most everything.  I did, however, avoid cheese, meat, soy and overeating.  Well, my deal with the Colon Devil was a bum deal after all...I didn't get swollen or really get a headache.  I did get a mean case of diarrhea which not only sucked but is worse when you have to do the coffee enemas.  I'm hoping this all stops soon.

In addition, I finally let my caregiver go.  I wussed out and did it via text message and didn't really give her any notice.  As bothered as I am by that, it's actually less bothersome than the stress and anxiety caused by the issues of keeping her.  I also interviewed another caregiver, set up several other interviews for the week and got some rest in.

Well, I'm going to finish watching some more programs on Hulu and then go to sleep.  I didn't rest well last night, but I suspect I will be able to do much better tonight.
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Well, I made it to the end of Week 7 (really Week 4) of the Gerson Therapy.  It's been tough.  I re-implemented the castor oil enemas and found that I really do need to do those 2-3 times per week because those toxins need to be out of my system, and not sitting around getting reabsorbed.  But they sure are draining!

Also, I'm still looking for a new caregiver.  I have 4 more applicants to interview today.  I am considering calling the top 2 or 3 and asking them to come Friday-Sunday (one day each) to see how it would work out.  I will just pay them hourly for that work.

It occurred to me a while back that you may be interested in my schedule and what I've been doing with more details.  While it's been a work -in-progress, I will copy over the spreadsheet today so you have a better idea of what I've been up to, the frequency and the time.  It's more challenging than I thought to stay on schedule and mostly it's okay in the morning, but as the day goes on I tend to fall behind and end up playing catch up with the supplements, but often never catch up with all of the juices.

I thought everything was going well as I had been splitting the groceries and toilet paper and whatnot with my mom.  Well, that's changing.  She complaining that she pays for half and doesn't even get that much.  I didn't feel bad before because she was using my caregiver to prepare food and juices for her too.  I thought it was a good idea to split the TP in half since I use more wet wipes lately (and I pay 100% of that) and then thought we should readjust the food split to more like me paying 66% and Mom paying 33%.  I really don't see how that's not a fair deal.  She just keeps saying that she has no money, as though I should pay her way too.  As it stands I already am going in the hole and dipping into my savings (which is some money that I pulled from my retirement fund) every single month.  I cannot and will not afford to pay the way of a perfectly healthy, employed mother.  This is the time I need to lean on her.  I need to lean on her for: a place to live, rides to the grocery store (which she buys her groceries too, so I don't feel like she's going too much out of her way for me), emotional support, help with cooking and cleaning and really just helping me to manage through this very hard time.  This is what I need, but this is not at all what I get.  It's truly a shame how she relies on me even when I'm at my sickest.  I would be ashamed if I was her.  Fortunately, I got this bible verse today from that Bible App on my phone:

Luke 6:27-28
"But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you."

I suppose instead of feeling sorry for myself I should really remember that Jesus would help her out anyway, though she's undeserving.  It just breaks my heart that so simply put, my own mother is often my enemy who hates, abuses and curses me.

I know what you're thinking.  Yes, she probably will read this.  She will think I'm just upset and not seeing things clearly.  No one really ever likes to confront her because even on the smallest things it's like the start of WWIII and I just don't have the energy to suck it up and push on through that kind of drama.  Just know, that given the opportunity, I will be so far gone away from her that it's not even funny.

The day will come that I can once again be on my own, taking care of myself with God's love and support.  I can have sane, productive days in which I don't feel I'm walking on eggshells.  Those peaceful moments will return in my life.  For now, I am grateful that I am taken care of and have enough to be able to survive.

Well, I'm already exhausted and have an interview shortly and it's not quite 9 AM.  So for now I will attach a copy of that schedule and close this out for the day.  BTW-I can't believe that I nearly forgot to tell you that I'm down to 250.5 as of yesterday late afternoon.
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	7:00 AM	Wake up (& make coffe on Castor Oil days)
	7:05 AM	1) Snack on fruit
		2) M/W/F-On Castor Oil days: drink 2T castor oil & drink 3/4c coffee w/ 1t sugar
	7:15 AM	Coffee enema
	8:15 AM	1) Eat breakfast, drink OJ (8-12oz); add 4-Lugol's drops & 2tsp-potassium
		2) 2-Acidol/Digestol caps; 1-50mg Niacin; 3-Liver caps; 3-Pancreatin tabs (MORN)
		3) 200mg-CoQ10 (Wk5-300mg, Wk6-400mg etc up to 600mg) <--Split throughout day
	9:15 AM	Green juice (12oz); add 2tsp-potassium
	10:15 AM	Carrot/Apple juice (8oz); add 2tsp-potassium, 1-50mg Niacin & 3 liver tablets (BLUE AM)
	10:30 AM	1) Fruit snack, if needed
		2) Coffee(T/Th/Sa/Su) or Castor Oil enema (M/W/F)
	11:00 AM	1) Carrot juice (8oz)
		2) B12 (T/Th/Sa)
		3) Snack on fruit
	12:00 PM	Green juice (12-16oz); add 2tsp-potassium
	1:00 PM	Eat lunch:
		1) Carrot/Apple juice (8oz); add 4- Lugol's drops & 2tsp-potassium
		2) 2-Acidol/Digestol caps; 1-50mg Niacin; 3-Liver caps; 3-Pancreatin tabs; 1-Flaxseed (NOON)
	2:00 PM	Green juice (12-16oz): add 2tsp-potassium
	3:00 PM	1) Fruit snack w/ 1-50mg Niacin & 3 liver tablets (BLUE PM)
		2) Coffee enema
	3:45 PM	1) Green juice (12-16oz); add 2tsp-potassium
	5:00 PM	1) Carrot/Apple juice (8oz); add 2tsp-potassium, take 1-50mg Niacin, 3-Pancreatin tabs & 1-Flaxseed (EVE)
		2) Make coffe concentrate for next day, let cool
	6:00 PM	1) Green juice (12-16oz); add 2tsp-potassium
		3) Coffee enema
	7:00 PM	Eat dinner:
		1) Carrot juice (8oz); add 2tsp-potassium
		2) 2-Acidol/Digestol caps; 1-50mg Niacin; 3-Liver caps; 3-Pancreatin tabs (BED)
		3) Fruit snack plate

Healing, a New and Personal Adventure: WK 6

WEEK 6

Today is the beginning of my 3rd strict week of the Gerson Therapy.  It's a good day.  I look great, I am feeling great compared to how badly I got and I just feel cleaner and like my brain is working so much better.  Loving it!!

This week my goals are: to stick to the food and juicing plans, not overplan or do too many activities, and stay on the schedule.  I cut out the castor oil therapy, but will consider doing it once a week or every other week.  I'm over half way through the book and from what I can see it really isn't so necessary for me as I'm doing a modified therapy for my conditions.  I also want to pay closer attention to the produce I'm buying to ensure it's organic, even though it costs more.

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This is still Day 1 of Week 3/6...just wanted to leave an update.

I had a crummy day and felt so irritable.  I couldn't help myself and was just so crabby.  I managed to mostly stay on schedule, but I felt almost like I got no help.  Since no one could do anything right, I figured it must be the detox.  I had read that it can really mess you up once in a while, so I chose to mostly stay in bed and try to rest.  You would think without anyone around I wouldn't have anything to irritate me.  Frankly, I felt bothered that I even woke up...crazy, right?

This is out of control and I really hope that tomorrow I am back to my normal self.  Not the self that "puts up with" stuff, but the self that doesn't sweat the small stuff and enjoys the little things in life.  I like her much better!

I did step up the green juice and I am feeling more energetic overall these past two days, so I have decided to up my green drinks from 8 oz to 12-16 oz each time and switch out some of the carrot/apple juice for the green.  I think it will continue to improve my cognitive skills and give me more energy.

Hope you all had a good day.  I know logically this day was a success but it just feels like it sucked.  Tomorrow will be better.  I suppose it could have been much, much worse.  I could have shit on the bed again or not woken up this morning at all...both of which I am not completely prepared to deal with anytime soon.

Good night and here's to the rest of the week looking up.
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Back again, sorry.  I almost forgot to tell you that I finally remembered to get the battery for the scale.  This afternoon (yep, after I had been consuming water, juice and food) I weighed myself fully clothed and even had slippers on and was down to 255...so, I think this week I may get down to 250.  I really hope I never see the 260's again.  And, still no pain meds =D
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It's Day 3 of Week 3...so far, not too shabby.  I didn't really stick with it 100% yesterday.  While mom and I were out and about I got hungry and ended up eating a BRC from El Pollo Loco...not the worst choice I could have made.   And last night I added some shredded organic chicken to some veggies and rice.  Otherwise, I've been mostly on schedule with everything, so I'm pretty stoked about that.

I have been having a really hard time with sinus headaches and this morning I woke up with a gnarly pinch of a migraine just above and behind my left eye...that was less than pleasant to say the least.  Also, some other things are happening in the area of my sinuses and I'm sure it has to do with my cysts and the detox attacking it and whatnot.  My nose has been bleeding a little here and there, it's irritated, it felt like I had a problem around the top right wisdom tooth area and roof of my mouth (which has mostly gone away now but I was worried I had an infection in my jaw) and I've had the usual swelling and congestion like I used to have all the time.  I think it wasn't so bad since I've not only gone through all of that before over the past few years since I got sick, but because I read about what to expect and have some some research online about various detox reactions.

Anyway, I have gotten two really good nights of sleep and am trying to get ready for today.  I feel like staying in bed and hooking up the humidifier (Danielle washed it for me but I have yet to set it up).  I didn't realize that my dad was so concerned about me and what I was doing with this therapy.  He came over yesterday and we got to spend some time together and talk about what's been going on.  He's having a hard time wrapping his brain around the coffee enemas, but for the most part I think the rest make some kind of sense to him.  I'm going to loan him my book as soon as I'm done reading it.

Today I hope to feel good, enjoy the day, get a few things done and hopefully also go out and spend time with a new interest.  He's very nice and I'm enjoying getting to know him.  It's still new though, so I didn't really get into details about this...fortunately, I think he's too busy to read this and find the details of the therapy for himself.  LOL  That would be an awkward conversation..."Um, I spend several hours a day taking coffee up my backside and I feel better."  AHHHH hahahaha.

Hope you are in good spirits, clear minded and enjoying the day.  I bought a new hat yesterday, so I may wear it if I manage to make it out to the Farmer's Market this morning.  Take care!
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Man, today was another tough day. I totally survived but instead of being chipper and happy, I really just wanted to be left alone.  Mom's feelings are hurt.  She is feeling needy and is upset that I non longer am able to tolerate her many hours of endless talking about nothing important at all.  ON the upside, at least I don't have to pretend anymore because my tolerance the last few days have been very low for putting up with nonsense.  I can't wait until this passes.  I don't think the people around me can handle much more of this...I can't either.  Also, didn't help much that I was prepared to suck it up and go out today only to find out via text that we weren't going anywhere.  I know it was for the best but I was disappointed.  Oh well, stayed on schedule for the most part.  Good night and I hope everyone has a great week!
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Tuesday, February 19, 2013...Week 3, Day 6

I starting to feel better.  The rest and sticking with the schedule has really done some good...for me at least.  I definitely have a sinus infection in full swing at the moment.  I'm getting headaches, sinus pressure, the whole nine yards.  I called to make an appointment with the doctor and was given a bit of a hard time...they even asked if I had insurance yet.  Why would I even need to provide them with insurance as it's a worker's comp claim?  Morons.  If they don't call me back by tomorrow morning with an appointment to see my doctor, I will email her directly as she advised me to do if they give me a hard time again.  Honestly, why do some people think they have power when their jobs entail making appointments and filing paperwork?  I am not stressed about this, just slightly annoyed.

Yesterday was a tough day.  Not because I felt crappy but because I was sadly reminded about where I am in my state of health.  The guy I was trying to get to know only wants to be friends as I really can't keep up with him and his interests.  Well, that's fair and I'm not bothered by that at all.  But it was an unwelcomed reminder that I'm not as well as I think I am or as well as I want to be.  I'm far from my goals and need to make sure that my priorities are in check.  My goals to focus on now are my health and my education, health being my primary focus and my education to occupy my time for a few months.

My mom is upset.  She's having a really hard time lately, especially because I really haven't been up to hanging out much with her. She has been so kind to help me when and where she can, even offering up the bed and sleeping on the couch.  My mom is very social and when she gets home she really wants to visit...by the time she gets home I'm so worn out and just glad that I made it another day.  I've been hanging out in the bedroom most of the day, even when I don't have to.  It's just much calmer and more comfortable in here.  I kind of like the peace and quiet.  Plus, I thought she would like that I'm reigning the crap piles in and keeping it to a central location.  I was wrong.  She wants me to lay on the couch all day so she can see me every single time she walks in; maybe she likes turning the lights on and opening all the blinds to brighten it up (when she's gone I close everything because its more comfortable for me), I've been trying to keep the living room cleaner and less messy by keeping my stuff in the room too.  I think she's just lonely and needs what I can no longer give her.  Maybe she does need to date...maybe she just needs to go find some girlfriends and go enjoy life without worrying about me so much.

I lover her, but at this point in my life I really must insist on things that make me happy and will help me reach my goals of survival.

Overall, having a fine day.  I woke up late.  I am way behind on schedule.  I made my own breakfast.  I made some juice.  I took my own supplements and had a snack.  It's almost 2 now, so I think I need to work on some lunch, a juice and more supplements...only like an hour behind.  No big deal.  As long as it gets done, right?
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Well, today is almost over.  I made it.  Whew!  I reimplemented the castor oil treatment...ewwwww!  It tastes worse than I remember and I almost barfed into the sink this morning.  After getting passes that I was rather surprised.  Instead of it taking about 2 hours to start "working" it started working in the afternoon.  I was surprised that after all this time it was still pulling so much out of the digestive tract.  Good thing I started doing it again.  Not sure I can stand doing it every other day, but I will do the castor oil treatments at least twice a week.  Tomorrow is the last day of week 3 and I couldn't be more excited.  By the way, I lost more weight.  I am down to 253 as of yesterday morning, am preparing for my cycle (which I usually gain and get a little bloated)(note to self: no niacin during my cycle) and I am down to not only wearing a size 20w jeans, but today I wore an old pair of 20w jeans that I know for sure I have dried and shrunk....wahoooooo!!!
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This is the end of Week 3.  It's been a tough week but I pulled through.  Just when I was snapping back mentally my mom, who is my only regular support, had a mental breakdown.  She usually relies on me and is having a really hard time with this adjustment of me leaning on her so much, no really being there as her companion, and is majorly stressed out about money.  Its so weird because just yesterday she took me to the store and was excited to offer to pay for all of our groceries, which was a lot since we needed almost everything and more water.  I said she didn't need to and that I could pay for my half, but she insisted.  It isn't usually like her to offer to pay so much for my way and it seemed like it made her happy that she could help me out a little so I let her.  Upon awakening this morning...which was already difficult since I had to get up early for an appt at the hospital for MSI (some county insurance that I probably don't even qualify for anyway), get all of my paperwork in order and do my morning routine really quickly...she had a meltdown.  Screaming, throwing things, crying.  She said I took over her entire house (which our side of the apartment consists of a bedroom, living room, kitchen and a dining room off of the kitchen).  She said I made a mess of everything and that I have completely taken over.  Of course I have been realizing this.  This is exactly why I hired someone to help me with the cooking and cleaning, so they could help me reorganize and get all of this under control...thus, I could avoid these crazy temper tantrums my mother is famous for.  She doesn't care that I am so sick that I'm actually fighting for my life.  She doesn't care that while everyone flees I am the one person who always stays by her side even when I am able to leave.

I think this just proves, even though my mom's mood swings and tantrums are a regular occurrence, that in fact this Gerson Therapy is tough on everyone mentally, physically and emotionally.  I already knew going in who I could rely upon for certain things.  I really don't know why I felt like I was blindsided by the disturbing flare up from my mother thing morning.  She'll probably read this and get angrier.  She never believes anyone anyway...it's always the fault of whomever left her, whatever friend doesn't want to spend time with her, whatever companion has cut ties.  Never any personal responsibility there.  Even with all of this, I strongly believe the therapy is making it much worse.  I except to see more but will try to put it out of mind so that I don't get too stressed and hurt my healing time.

There is nothing I would love more than to live in a calm, safe, quiet environment.  But for now I am simply fortunate and count my blessings to have a place to lay my head at night.  A place that I can survive, albeit barely.  I really don't even have anyplace else to go.  I can't even drive away because I lost my keys and didn't realize until yesterday that I don't know where they are.  I really have no idea...so, for now I have rescheduled the appointment with MSI at the hospital, barricaded myself in the bedroom with my dog (the only thing in this world other than God that loves me no matter what).

On the upside...

• I more often than not sleep at night, and while I am sleeping I sleep really well and feel rested for the day when I wake up
• I lost more weight and am now down to 252.5lbs and now fit into my old, overdried size 20w jeans (so basically I'm down to like an 18!)
• My skin is looking healthier and happier
• The old brown dye is coming out of my hair and it's turning back to blonde...weird, huh?
• I'm getting healthier overall and am sure I am doing the right thing
• I am learning my boundaries and trusting the guidance of my parents (ie: too soon to start school again)
• I have noticed that I have the lights on and/or the window shades open more often instead of sitting or laying in dark rooms
• I haven't had any pain pills in 3 weeks now and have only taken 2 Advil in any one day (mostly 0-1 a day)...I do still have headaches and migraines, lots of them, but I am managing them mostly with coffee enemas and relaxation as much as possible
• I'M SO PROUD OF MYSELF & I'M HOPEFUL THAT I HAVE A REAL FUTURE AHEAD OF ME!!

For anyone doing this, I would highly recommend hiring someone (or two) caregivers to help you with the household, cooking, cleaning, general stuff and maybe a family member to go to the grocery store every 2 or 3 days to get more groceries as you really go through a lot.  If I had more money, I would have two caregivers, food delivered, a water distiller and purifier installed.  This way you can rest and focus on recovering.  I would say that I am concerned that my stress level and having to do more activities for myself may be hurting my healing, it sure it's helping.  I really hope that I'm not doing all of this hard work and sacrifice only to find out the shit I have to deal with is keeping me from reaching my goal: recovery.

Healing, a New and Personal Adventure: WK 5

WEEK 5

Last week was harder than I thought, more productive than I thought and more expensive than I thought.  It was, of course, well worth it.  But I was fairly unprepared, just desperate to get going.  Once the headaches were gone (okay, they were never really gone but manageable with little or no help  like ibuprofen) I really felt like I could think again, was remembering things better and just felt more clear of mind.

For a year now, I have been telling myself that if I went a week without a headache I would sign back up for school.  I didn't even need the whole week to make up my mind.  I'm not saying it will be easy, but I am saying that I am ready to focus and meet my goals.  Heck, I only have 4 classes left...2 security classes and my Capstone class and project.  I'm so excited.  I'm even considering what to do after I complete my BS in IT Management.  The answers will come with time, but it's looking like I will feel well enough to return to work before too long (I know it's relative and I have to play it by ear for now, but at least it looks as if it's moving in the right direction, right?) and then join a Master's program.  I've been really thinking about what I want in my life, how to achieve these goals and what is truly important to me.  I really don't want to be an administrator anymore.  I think I could be really good at it, but I don't want that for my life.  It's too stressful and I feel I could use what I've got to help the education system, still teach and have a full life outside of the schoolsite compound.  Sounds nice, doesn't it?

Well, I'm back on track today.  I slept a ton last night and I also began reading Charlotte Gerson's book from the beginning instead of browsing around section by section looking for specific information that I needed at that particular moment.  It's such an easy ready and I'm really getting a lot out of it.

I'll write more later.  Hope you all have a fantastic day!  BTW, its Friday, so you better have a great day!
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It's been a very tough week so far.  I've had 3-4 days of increasingly worse headaches which are now starting to include migraines (...awesooooome! PSYCHE!)  I had to think about why this is happening again.  About the same time, Daneille and I decided for efficiency it would be okay to juice once a day and make enough for the rest of the day and beginning of the next morning.  I'll update you on this to see if minute-fresh juice makes the difference.  I'm hopeful.  and I will let you know.
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I think the headaches are improving.  Not totally gone but they definitely improved since we've been making fresh juice.  I thought it would be okay, it was not.  I have noticed some other issues that upon research are just simply because of the detox:

• Sneezing a lot!  I thought I was getting a cold it was so bad
• Slight feverish last night
• Couldn't sleep last night until way late (4am)
• Weird bumps on the roof of my mouth, like hives but in my mouth
• Sinuses are swelling shut and sometimes I'm having a hard time breathing, just like it used to while I was still at work being exposed constantly to "whatever" ...maybe this means it's being attacked and I'm being re-exposed to whatever was left in my system

I managed to get it together today.  I got dressed, took a shower and went on a date =)  It was a nice lunch date and we chatted and got to walk around the Mother's Market in Santa Ana.  I look forward to continuing to get out more like this.  It was easy and nice and I enjoyed the company and fresh air.  I felt almost normal and it was so pleasant.
Well, Daneille is taking a couple of days off starting tomorrow.  I'm really going to miss her.  I expect my mom will have a few bouts of being unhappy and stressing out because of things not getting clean enough or dinner not being made (either on time or at all).  I am just going to have to accept that this is highly likely to occur and try to remain calm so that the stress doesn't hurt my recovery.

I took a picture of myself a couple of days ago, so I thought I would include it so you can see my progression and what I am currently enjoying =)  I found this in my closet and never wore it because I was too bloated to be comfy for so long.  I plan to enjoy it now!
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Tomorrow is the last day of the "week" and I have to say I have had good, sometimes great moments and really awful ones as well...and sometimes they are happening at the same time.  Overall, this afternoon and tonight I feel like crap.  I'm tired and just want to sleep, the sores on the roof of my mouth are driving me batty (this is worse than a stubbed toe that you keep bumping because everything I have to consume for this therapy (supplements, food, juice) all seems to irritate this dang thing) and lately my sinuses have been giving me a heck of a time.  I've not sneezed quite as much today as I had the rest of this week, but my sinuses keep swelling open and shut like they used to while I was still at work.  It kind of scared me because even my throat was starting to close, just like it did at my previous job.  Scary!  I took some deep breathes and tried to relax until it passes.

I'm feeling extremely irritable, particularly towards my mom.  I've read in several spots that your psyche can be effected, especially in the beginning.  I love her and really do appreciate her helping me get through this.  But, she wants me to do things with her or listen to her constantly when I need to rest or be eating (which lately has often meant cooking it myself too, so even less rest).  I felt so guilty for having to ask her to make any adjustments, but I swear if I have to actually ask her to leave the room and stop talking my ear off while I'm in the middle of the damn enema business I might just scream.  I might be stuck where I am (either intake mode on the bed or out take mode in the restroom) but that doesn't mean I am a sitting duck for you to spew every thought of your mind at me.  How can I relax like that???  And why should I have to tell a grown woman not to stand at the doorway staring at me while my intestines are coming out or talk to my butt while the tube is inserted?  Really??  Yes, really.

I'm so exhausted.  I will most certainly be needing the help the remainder of the month and possibly March as well.  It's just too much.  I'm trying to stay objective and be realistic about this whole thing.  I cannot do this on my own and while my mother is trying, she cannot really help me even half of what I need.

I have never felt so helpless or selfish in my entire life.  But, if this is what I need to do, then this is what I will do.  I have to start saying no, firmly but not in a hurtful way.  I need to stop over-planning activities for myself and I need to ask specifically for what I need.  Frankly, I'm also sick to death of having to go to the damn grocery store every day or every other day to replenish the produce I need.  It's getting pretty expensive too.  I've charged as much as I can for groceries and supplies so I have cash for the caregiver.  But it's just SO expensive.  I wasn't expecting it to be this much.  It's worth it, don't get me wrong, but wow.  Organic produce is hard to find in Southern California, let alone at a low price.  I suck it up as much as I can and keep on going.

My sinuses seem to be the epicenter of my ongoing issues.  So it's no surprise that I am getting migraines and pressure/sinus headaches (still able to manage with breathing techniques and up to 2 advil a day), ear pressure, pain and swelling in my nostril/sinus area, sneezing, coughing (those last two are really "fun" when you are in the middle of an enema...not!) and now these sores on the roof of my mouth.  Tonight I gave in...I took 2 advil at once, then two melatonin and rinsed my mouth with the mouth wash the dentist gave my mom for her root canal a couple weeks ago.  It's seemed to numb the pain on my mouth a bit.  I'm feeling tired but still can't sleep...I'm praying it will come soon, but I didn't sleep much last night either.

I'm a little concerned with school beginning in about 2 weeks.  While I am having trouble sleeping and it's mostly because I'm awake constantly (vs. being asleep like I was the past 1-2 years), I'm really hoping that with a more consistent schedule for myself that it helps me to be consistent with my schoolwork, group projects, reading, etc.  I mean, the classes are only 4-8 weeks each, so there is no time at all to fall behind.  I don't want my new team to think I'm a flake.  Speaking of new teams, I really hope to find a good one that I can stick with all the way through the Capstone course and finish out the program.  I was fortunate to have an amazing team before and would be amazed to find another, but I am hopeful.  I also am not feeling as though I have the energy to leas the team, so hopefully this wonder team wants me but doesn't need me to lead.  Is that asking too much?  I'm not hoping for a free ride...just really that I don't have to pick up too much slack at first as I may have a hard time picking up my own. This is where Daneille's services will really still be needed next month.  I will need to be very strict on my schedule, need to focus my energies on healing, resting and schoolwork...but other areas of my life still need to be tended to: cooking, cleaning, errands/chores, projects like packing up all my old books in the bookshelf and take them all to storage.

Daneille and my mom were talking yesterday.  I heard her say that she and her daughter are thinking about moving in August to go back to the Portland Oregon area.  I'm happy for her, but for some weird reason feel like she's leaving me.  These emotions are outta control almost.  I'm certain this is the therapy and not some weird PCOS hormonal problem of temporary insanity or instability.  I suppose I don't really need Daneille for that long, I mean, it's only February now...and unless I win the lottery that I don't play, I really won't be able to afford her beyond March or April anyhow.  It was like my caregiver and friend was leaving.  Weird, isn't it?

I can't believe it's already been two weeks since really starting this therapy.  Well, 13 days is close enough for me.  I can't wait to try on the red dress I bought myself at JC Penney's before starting.  It was the 2 week gift I bought myself.  And, it just so happens that tomorrow is also Valentine's Day.  I don't have a Valentine this year, but that is pretty standard for me.  I thought I would as I have been dating more than previous years.  While there are a few good candidates in the running, it doesn't appear that I had put the wheels in motion early enough to establish anything holiday worthy just yet.  Whatever, I have my mom and Bailey.  Mom bought me a fresh Lavender plant today at Sprouts for Valentine's Day and I can't wait to replant it on the patio...the patio is really ready for some plants to be out there.  I wonder where I can find some organic, healthy soil to use for my plants and vegetables/herb garden.  Hmm...I need to look into this because I have a feeling that I want this going before school begins again.

Did I mention the weird Niacin flushes I've been getting?  I probably mentioned something at some point.  I have noticed I get a really bad flush about every three days or do.  I mean, I look like a crazy bright red splotchy woman who just stepped outta the sun (not the beach with sun, but actually stepping out of the sun itself) but managed to get "some" sunblock on in a few spots.  I'm getting used to it now.  I know what to expect for the most part and am fairly glad I am beginning this in the winter versus the summer when it's already hot outside.

Well, I will wrap this up for now.  I'm feeling a bit sleepy...not sleepy enough to fall asleep, but enough to keep rambling on and on senselessly for a few more pages and wish to spare you, my friends, from finding out my deepest, darkest, most embarrassing secret...that I'm a kook.
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So glad this week is over!  I'm tired, more crabby than usual, more productive than usual, more energy than usual, some headaches, pain in my mouth and feelings of a cold than usual.  Arrrr, matey.  I'm crabby and I want it to be over.  Mr. Toad's Wild Ride is no longer welcome around here...but, he will do whatever he wants with his ride and I suppose I will just suck it up a bit longer.

2 whole weeks down, 54 weeks to go.  Whew.  Sounds like a lot less when I write it down like that.  HAHAHA, nope.

Today I had a pretty good day.  My schedule was way off, so I'm feeling it tonight as I'm more gassy, more headaches and just feeling kind of yucky.  But I went out driving, ran some errands, got dressed up in that brown dress from the picture above and looked even better in it today than before, got a hair cut that was quick and easy, some guys flirted with me which it's been a while, guess my confidence was shining through, talked with a handsome man and possibly have a date this weekend (wahoo), went out with Cruz and now it's bed time.  I'm skipping several juices, and most of the last two meals and snacks.  I may do one last enema of the day, but then I'm crashing.  I have done enough.

Tomorrow I suspect I may have to pay for the habits of today...so, I may just plan to do a Castor Oil treatment to get it over with faster.

Overall, the week was productive.  I did well, am feeling better.  I learned the value of super fresh juice, taking the supplements and doing 4+ coffee enemas a day to help rid the toxins and some pain from the headaches.  I had some days that I cheated or cut corners and the weight started to creep back.  I got back on track and then it began coming back off.  The weight isn't really what concerns me much at all...it's those sneaky awful headaches that I don't ever want to have again.  So, stick to the plan, organize and plan ahead if doing activities outside of the house and I need the help.  Mom helped a bit more this week, but after the first day the excitement and spirit wore off and she was busy doing something more enjoyable (just about anything else is moer enjoyable than this, trust me).

If you're thinking about using this therapy, be sure to read up on it and get as much materials as you can ahead of time.  Oh, and those flushes from the niacin are really fun in public...so learn to ignore them and hopefully other people will too.  LOL  Good night and Happy VDay!!

Healing, a New and Personal Adventure: WK 4

WEEK FOUR

Let's be honest, who wants to keep journaling like this everyday.  I ended up sticking with the modified diet, but I just didn't write it all down.  It got really old.  I will try to do better.

Anyhow, today I am beginning the Gerson Therapy at home.  It's very strict and I have a couple of caregivers I hired to help me.  I really think it will go well and am quite excited.  I'm also tired because I haven't really been eating enough, especially at night and then had trouble sleeping.

Daneille will come all weekend and M/W/F from 10-2.  I'm looking forward to seeing her.  She really was very interested in the Gerson Therapy and I actually like her as a person.  I found her to be quite pleasant and easy to be around.  In the afternoon/evenings Reyna will be coming, plus all day T/Th when Daneille is off.  I also liked her a great deal.  While Reyna doesn't have much experience in the way of vegan meal preparation, it really isn't that hard and there are recipes for the juicing and meals if she would like.  I liked that Reyna was very helpful and kind and has experience caregiving.

This is Day 1 of the real treatment.  I got most of what I need...well, sort of.  I ordered from a company called ISHI and they lost my order, then mailed it to the wrong address and are now overnighting it and it should be here sometime today...which means I will be missing quite a few supplements today, but tomorrow should be as close to 100% as possible.  The only other concern I have is that the B12 I ordered from Statmx is raspberry flavored.  Apparently its designed to be inserted under the tongue, so they added flavor to make it more tolerable.  Unfortunately, I need to inject this and I feel as though it may be a real problem.  I'm waiting for the Gerson Institute to open so that I can ask them...I'm almost hoping they say it's okay because I would love to begin the B12 shots today.  If not, well, it's in God's hands and I will live...and possibly my backside will smell more fruity.  Do you think that will be a nice compliment to the coffee emanating from my bum?

Surprisingly, I woke up very much on time today, about 7 AM. I've been sleeping in so late.  I bet I will be tired tonight and am so hoping to fall asleep at a decent hour...sometime before midnight would be a great improvement!  Anyhow, I'm already way behind schedule.  Mom helped by making some OJ and Grapefruit juice as well as some oatmeal.  But the coffee takes a long time to cool off.  I'm thinking making a large batch and keeping it handy all day long may be the way to go because this is somewhat obnoxious as to how long it takes that stuff to cool off already.

It's already 9 AM and I'm supposed to have the green juice...I'm about 2 hours behind schedule.  This would happen.  I don't really feel too upset as it's my first day and I'm taking it a bit easy.  I'm actually kind of nervous about the enema, so I'm not really trying to make it move along so quickly.  After that I get to have breakfast and then take whatever supplements I already have here.

Well, I'm probably going to be off all day unless I really get bored...and the TV stops working.  So that means there isn't a good chance I will write an update tonight.  I will aim to write an update tomorrow.

Have a wonderful Friday, February 1st everyone!

Rebecca

PS, I cannot believe I almost forgot to tell you.  I'm down to 257 lbs and I feel pretty good.  I'm almost back into a 20 jeans...the legs fit but my tummy was a hair too bloaty yesterday to fit comfy (it did close tho!)  I still am having the headaches and think I might be fighting "another" sinus infection, but I feel like I'm winning.

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I'm now at the end of my second day.  I must say, WOW!  I haven't felt thing great and been this drugs free in such a long time.  I cannot believe it is working so well...already!  I know it made a big difference to take January to modify my diet so greatly (I cut way back on nearly everything I wasn't supposed to have, completely cut out soda, bread and fast food and heavily increased my juicing and produce intake).  This would be far more difficult to crash into the therapy.  It would be impossible without the caregiver.

Let me go back.   Yesterday, I had a great day.  The only problems being: a dull headache that came and went all day and night, I had a hard time doing all of the juicing and eating, very challenging to stay on schedule, couldn't sleep last night...I think I got like 3 or 4 hours total.

Today, I woke up before 7 AM (again!), felt pretty good.  I got dressed and did my hair.  I drove to Walmart with my mom and was pumped.  Blood pressure is already down a bit...133/80 per the new machine in Walmart.  BTW, stoked that my arm really fits in that dang arm thingy without pressure now so it was a nice surprise that my arms obviously shrunk (unless they just increased the size of the arm thingy, but I'm gonna take the credit so ignore this thought thanks.)  I got a bit worn out while we were out, so Mom drove us back home.  Had some juice, picked up Danielle and went to Sprouts for some serious food shopping.  The list was enormous because had used nearly everything yesterday and I didn't get some of what I needed for the recipes because I had no idea what some of these ingredients even looked like.  The fridge and kitchen table are stuffed full/covered in yummy ingredients and foods.  I've never quite seen it like that.

After Sprouts I was pretty wiped.  I rested for a short while, maybe 30-45 minutes max on the couch and even read a little...that's right, I didn't watch tv all morning while laying on the couch (two days in a row!!!!!)  I walked Bailey 5 times yesterday and 3-4 times today...I was too busy and I was tired and trying to just stick to the schedule today.  I did much better sticking to the schedule.  Danielle and I work so well together and she's really getting the hang of it.  She's so busy all day just helping me, it's kind of weird that I thought we would have time to work on projects and whatnot.  We really spend nearly the whole time cooking, cleaning, drinking/eating, taking the supplements/medicine and doing the enemas.  It was nuts.  But I'm proud to say that I did everything today except the last enema.  I messed up the schedule for the castor oil enema, which includes drinking castor oil with a coffee chaser 5 hours prior to the castor oil enema.  Well, as I came around to the 5 hours I started going to the bathroom and just couldn't stop.  I mean, I have been running to the restroom for the last hour or so.  It doesn't feel bad.  It's fine, I have an old blackjack game in the bathroom and my mp3 player.  I just try to relax and let it happen.

Not only did I do like 95% of the therapy today and stick to the schedule pretty well (a little difficult when we went to Sprouts since we were away so long), but I was able to hold the coffee enema for 11 minutes...the goal being 12-15 minutes.  I also managed about 31 out of the 32 required ounces for that 11 minutes.  Yep, a little gross and kind of weird and crazy, but I'm proud of it.  I can't believe what was coming out because I couldn't possibly account for that much out-take with as much intake as I have been doing in the past week...so, who knows how long it's been sitting in there.  EWW...but true and honest.  Before I forget, I also took 2 advil this afternoon because of the headache.  It went away and I haven't had much of one since.

Day two is nearly complete.  I just have to clean the juicer one last time, finish up this salad and watch tv while snacking on some fruit.  Whew.  It's a lot...I even had to make a list.  A LOT and SO worth it!!

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Day 3 is rough.  I felt pretty good when I woke up...oh yeah, had to take two more advil last night, but that didn't help me sleep so I just tried to rest of the bed the best I could.  That castor oil is no joke.  I was up with serious BMs til well after midnight and my tummy is still gurgling a bit today.

Managed to drive all day, walked "quickly" through the Farmer's Market today and came home.  After I got home I was pretty much useless.  I am having some issues with body temperature.  I'm so cold and then so hot.  So far I have found it's best to cover my skin but not with anything too thick or too many layers.  I'm so exhausted that I've been useless since I returned home.  I'm extra grateful for Daneille today as she has really helped me out a great deal...cooking, cleaning the kitchen, juicing, doing 4 loads of laundry (including sheets because I had an unfortunately accident), steam mopping and vacuuming the flours.

I am really hopeful that tonight I will sleep like a baby...as long as I don't have to wake up to use the restroom (or sleep through having to use the restroom, I suppose).  I haven't slept well over the past two nights, but I have been near drug free at only consuming 4 advil and a small bit of cortizone for headaches and a rash on my finger.

I should also note that the body odor is present but improving with several showers.  I also am having a few weird pimple breakouts (I'm sure it's the detox) and some odd hot/cold flashes.  I could not survive alone and am so glad to have my mom and Daneille.  True blessings, all of it.

BTW, tip: trim the bottom of the blue enema tube off because it will slip out of the red tube and cause coffee and poop to spill all over your bed, some on the floor, down the legs all the way across the hall and through the restroom.  So glad I was home when that happened.

PS-I had so much energy last night that I walked three times around my neighborhood straight only stopping so the dog could do his occasional smif/poop routine.  In fact, he only made it 2.5 times around and I had to carry him home.

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I don't know what happened.  Today is the 5th of February, so I supposed this is day 5, not day 4 as I thought.  I guess that makes sense...2 awesome days, two crummy days and then today.  I don't know how I lost track.

Today was the first day I was able to take a nap in the afternoon.  Oh man, it was so great.  I'm really unsure how long I slept, perhaps an hour and a half.  But when I woke up I felt so good and fresh.  I also had to drive myself to the doctor.  It went pretty well.  I made some great improvements:

• Blood tests from January 5th (right around the time I began the therapy prep) and they were good.  Samantha was so pleased by my progress.  She said I don't have diabetes (I knew that).  She said my kidney and liver are fine (Idk if I trust "fine" as modern medicine seems to have higher or lower ratings than they should.
• Lost a total of 10 awesome pounds since my last visit.
• Lowered my blood pressure from 140/90 to 120/80 (those are ballpark figures because I just can never seem to remember specifics.

I figures out what those hot/cold flashes were from.  It's so obvious.  I have been having fevers that keep breaking.  I looked it up and apparently that is normal and somewhat good.  It's an indication that the therapy is working and my body is responding like it should.  These fevers are making it very difficult to relax at night and get much rest.  I got 4 hours last night and it was enough for the day (helped greatly by the midday nap).  Now that I figured out why this is happening, I am just trying to accept the fact that I won't be comfortable enough to sleep and do something else and try to get comfy.  I am getting a bit used to changing from a short cotton nightgown to my gym pants, tshirt, socks and a hoodie.  I may add gloves.  All exposed skin feels so cold I can hardly tolerate it.  I almost feel like I'm fighting a cold...pre and post nasal drip present with swollen sinuses and a pinch in my throat that causes a cough until I get something warm to drink.

Well, it's been good.  Wish I had two humongous fridges tho...our small apartment fridge is so packed and I have to go to the market or store every other day to replenish whatever we ran out of.  I don't mind the excuse to get out of the house, but it would be nice to have enough room in the fridge to see what I bought.

Before I leave you for the evening, if you're considering doing the therapy, I highly recommend reading the book written by Charlotte Gerson and getting someone to help you with the juicing, cooking, cleaning and enemas (plus most other household chores).  If I had all the money and room in the world, I would hire Daneille to move in to help 5-6 days a week for 2, 3, 4 or more months...and then hire someone else to help out while she's off.

Okay, I updated and then realized there was something else weird.  At night my feet are killing me...it's weird, not quite like coming home after wearing heals all day at work.  I would love to go get a foot massage...maybe I will do that tomorrow afternoon, since that's what it seems to occur.  And the last major change is the last few days some personal areas are in full swing.  If I didn't know better, I would swear there was a hormonal change...usually I would assume some testosterone increase, but this doesn't feel like any hormonal change I've had (and I have lots of experience in my life with this).  It's like more blood flow or something.  Maybe increased oxygen?  I really don't know.  It's just weird.  I will live.
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Day 5 is going okay.  I know it's not perfect and that's just going to have to be okay.  Daneille couldn't come in today because she has another job.  Besides, she needs some time off...she cannot just come here and take care of me all the time.  She is so good to me though...she prepped dinner for last night, made a huge salad and some fresh soup, cut some fruit to snack on and even put the juices I needed last night and today in mason jars.  Other than feeling kind of crummy, getting 3 solid hours of sleep, my feet hurting like crazy and the rash on my finger...all is going rather well.  Oh, one other complaint, there's just too much darn food!  I know, what a tragedy.  The coffee enemas are getting much easier, though I still cannot take it all at once nor am I able to hold it in very long...maybe 10 minutes combined.  Glad today is nearly over.  I'm desperately in need of a nap.  On the upside, I got back into my program at school and will be able to begin again March 4th...only 4 classes left til graduation!  Wahoo!!
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Day 6...so far, so good.  Tummy/digestive tract gets kind of grumbly when I take the castor oil orally.  It seems that from the time I take it and drink the coffee that its a brief hour or two until I need to start having BMs...and there are quite a few, so don't go far.

Otherwise, I feel pretty good.  Still having headaches but they are either managed by trying to relax and breathe or with the occasional advil.  This is such a massive improvement.  Other improvements include: lessening of body odor, getting more used to the routine and some serious inches lost.  I really don't know how much I have lost.  From the time I began this in January, I went from a size 22 and sometimes 24 and just bought a top last night that was a 16/18.  This morning I weighed myself at 255.5...I'm so stoked about that.

A few things I could do without include: castor oil treatment entirely and the flaxseed oil.  Yuck!  But, I try not to think about it too much, drop it in my mouth as far back as I can stand it and just swallow...followed quickly by a glass of juice or some fruit to cover the flavor and consistency as fast as possible.

I'm excited about school.  I'm a little concerned about money at this point as this treatment and the help I had to hire to get through (though all totally worth it) have nearly depleted my funds and it's only the 6th of February...only get paid the first of each month.  Credit card is nearly maxed out and I have only a few hundred left in my savings.  I'm praying that it all works out and trust that the Lord will help me find a way to obtain the food I need and get the help I need to heal.  There is a small chance that I will receive some of my financial aid for school...but that isn't usually released until I've been enrolled for a bit.  So I may not see that money for a couple of months or longer, depending upon how busy the finance department is at National.

Well, all is pretty well around here.  For anyone who can, please pray that I will find a way in time.  God bless!
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Day 7: Week complete.  I'm so proud of myself.  I've really been wanting some protein...maybe some fish or eggs.  I woke up feeling alright, but quickly went down hill.  I think my blood sugar was a little low, so I was feeling really worn out and just needed to rest.  I did the morning routine, then went to run errands but had to come back.

Mom made me something to snack on.  This time I asked for eggs...we have yummy, organic brown eggs from Sprouts.  She's so good to me.  She scrambled up 3 eggs with two of the three egg yokes removed (we give them to the dog and he loves them)...plus, she added onion and then topped it off with fresh dill, a side of canteloupe and tomato chunks and some of the pesto I made the other day.  I didn't like the pesto...its just too spicy (the onion killed it, but I'm the only one in the house who doesn't like it).

Maybe I need to pig out a little today.  This is nuts.  I can't stop thinking about food right now.  I would love some bread and maybe some salmon.  That sounds amazing.  I can implement both later, in fact, if I was smart enough I would start making the sourdough culture for the bread because I can have that now...I just didn't do it yet, so no bread for me yet.  Dang.

I did really well this week, and I'm proud of myself.  But I have to be more careful of what I am consuming at night as that really seems to effect me the next day.  I just didn't eat enough.  The nights I go to bed feeling almost too full...I find I have better mornings and days after I went to bed feeling full.  I mean, it's not like you can over eat on this strict diet right now anyway.

I think Pinterest isn't helping much either.  Everything always looks so good.  I am going to take a break from Pinterest for now...I can't do any of the projects right now anyway, so I suppose the break will be good and far less tempting.
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Overall, this week was pretty good.  Best to have constant help with someone patient who will spend a serious amount of their time juicing, cooking and cleaning...and also reminding you what to take when.  The chart helps to really keep it all organized and together...without it we would be constantly trying to remember what to do/take when and some stuff would just go unnoticed.  It's really too much to keep track of on your own with just your memory.  I would recommend planning to go to the store every 2-3 days...unless you have a humongous refrigerator (which I don't).

Don't exercise or walk around too much.  As soon as I forced myself to put my feet up and sit or lay down to rest more throughout the day (even though I felt like electricity some days), the weird pain stopped or got a lot better.

Weird things have been happening, some were a surprise but I knew something would be happening.  I'm very pleased with my progress and look forward to this all getting a lot easier and more "normal" for me.

I did end up losing some weight...255.5lbs as of this morning, nearly fit (I got in but it wasn't at all loose) to a shirt that I bought recently sized 16/18 (that's so much better than a 22/24).  I feel better in general (some ups and downs, but and overall trend of improvement) and I haven't taken more than two advil in any given day since beginning...which is huge, cuz I was up to (actually down to) 150 mg of Tramadol a day that hardly got me by and up to two Sumatriptan a day as needed for migraines and sometimes didn't really do anything.  It's sad to take so much medicine and it hardly touch the pain.

Anyway, it's been good.  It's been expensive.  It's been impossible to do on my own.
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Day end update. I was stuck away from home a lot today.  I was so exhausted, felt kinda crappy but I enjoyed the time away with mom.  Got too hungry, went to Mother's Market in Laguna Woods for some lunch...grabbed a carrot/apple juice and then sat in the restaurant for some lunch.  It was too much.  I ended up calling today my cheat day and it was good.  I ate pinto beans, a dash of salt (it really was very little) and a little sharp cheddar cheese...oh, and two small corn tortillas.  Normally this was an awesomely healthy meal, but what I listed I am not supposed to have, like ever as they are "forbidden foods".  Dang.  Well, not to worry.  I start again fresh tomorrow.