Months 9-10: October-November 2013
Wow, I can't believe it's already October. Here is a quick update...I haven't been sleeping well at all but feel wide awake most of the time. My feet are killing me and it turns out that some other bones, like in my hand, hurt when I touch them with any kind of pressure. I did some research these past few days and I think I've gotten a better grasp on what my situation is and what may be continuing some of these problems.
#1 - Obviously I have a problem with the mold still from work. I think I have some fungal sinus infection which may be a fungal ball. I'm hoping its not spreading or doing damage that can't be undone. If this is the case, they can remove it with surgery and treat with antifungal antibiotics and then life can go on with long term checkups. Sounds great...when the heck are they gonna get one this? I don't know.
#2 - In the meanwhile, I continue to get sinus infections that flare up out of control and a lot of headaches. My body isn't handling the medications to treat either the infections or the pain very well. I thought I was losing my mind, but as I have some clarity at the moment, I would like to present the idea that I am not falling apart...I am simply suffering from rare but serious side effects of the medication that my doctor's are prescribing to help me deal with the sinus infections and headaches. Darn. It's like a no-win situation.
#3 - Levoquin is not my friend. My bones hurt, I can hardly walk and I feel so achy. I'm not sleeping well, having weird dreams...when I am sleeping its not for long but it seems like very good sleep. The rash on my hand is still bad, related or not, I really don't know. Everything listed is getting worse the longer I've been on the Levoquin. I almost feel better though because I was concerned this all was caused by the mold exposure. Whew! I hate medicine.
#4 - I'm perfect. I might be in pain, wide awake and having a hard time breathing, but I have a wonderful life with my soon-to-be husband, a gret dog to keep me company and I don't feel crazy. I've accepted that for the time being my brain doesn't function properly all the time, I may not be able to sleep (more time to do projects if I'm not too achy) and there is a very bright light at the end of this tunnel...a light that I haven't really seen before. This is great! I knew God would pull me through all of this. Honestly, I thought I might just have to accept this as how it will be...as soon as I was okay with this, God made it clear that there is a way out. This all most definitely has impacted my life now and forever. I will certainly be more grateful and humble. I am more appreciative and forgiving, that is for sure.
Well, that's the update. I'm feeling a little dizzy and my hand-eye coordiation right now it driving me bonkers with having to fix all of the typing errors (fingers are pressing the right keys but in the wrong order...lol. I can laugh about it now.) Take good care of yourself!
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Dang, yesterday was a nasty day. I just felt awful, finally slept but couldn't really stop sleeping...I kept falling asleep and I was dizzy and had poor focus. My head had a ton of pressure making my ears not feel so good and I ended up taking about 10+ excedrin because my head hurt so bad and just wouldn't improve.
Today I have to get it together because I have to get to the dr's office and I don't think I will have a ride. Dr, Barri was sick last week, unforuntately I got a ride, waited over an hour and then was told he was out...but today I need to get myself there sfely and hold a conversation.
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Been a long while since I've written. A lot has been going on. I'm doing my best to feel better and sometimes I do and most times I do not. All in all, I'm happy that I'm surviving and I feel like I'm moving in the right direction.
I now have medical insurance and am able to see doctors willing to help me find out what the problems are and how to resolve them. Long story short, the allergies are a real problem and it seems I am hypersensitive to everything. Good news is that the ENT gave me some nasal allergy spray to try and see it that helps. I go back to see the ENT in a few more weeks and if the spray doesn't work, then he says there are other medications to try. Also, the best part is that he said the cysts can stay without being operated on since they aren't really causing my problems (what a serious relief!!) I am also working on getting a referral to the Allergist. With that I can get an updated allergy test so I know what I'm allergic to and how serious it is....and then start getting the allergy desensitizing shots. I do think that overall the nasal spray must be doing something because I've had more days/times throughout the days that I can think straight. I'm really swelling lot up and down throughout the day and I am able to focus and really try to identify when it's happening. For instance, I am at BlizzCon with Kevin this weekend. I noticed I was feeling okay, though nervous because I don't want to disappoint him. The swelling was relatively low, I could breathe and think and my tailbone wasn't hurting. Also, my feet weren't doing too shabby and I could walk way more than I thought.
As I walked passed the smokers outside of the Anaheim Convention Center my nose and throat began to swell up and I began to have a hard time breathing (though that calmed to a tolerable level after entering the building) and then the swelling began to bad that everything else started happening. I must be allergic to something in the building because it wasn't happening after I ate or drank anything...face, fingers, hands, feet...all so swollen I had to actually remove my wedding ring because my finger felt like the circulation was getting cut off and I now have a gnarly rash/irritation from broken skin where my ring is supposed to be. On top of that, my tailbone started hurting like crazy and my feet were terrible again...and I was sitting (on my cushion, of course). It didn't really calm back down until this morning, but stopped getting worse after I left the building and walked back to our hotel room.
What a weird place to find myself these days. Now I have to be careful of the air quality, the buildings, what I'm eating (possibly) and who knows what else. I really need this to end. How can I find a job and go back to work if I don't know if it will irritate me or not? Crap on a cracker, this could be a big problem. I guess I'm relying upon the allergy shots to help me get this under control and hopefully I can go into my potential work environment and try to see if I have any reactions. I don't know, one day at a time.
Well, I'm going to get some rest. Kevin gave me a bit of a pass for the convention but I'm going to have to get it together and get over there soon. I can't just let him hang out alone all day and I miss him. I hate that me being sick is interfering in our time together and enjoying his hobbies and interests together. I feel like I'm not being supportive and I hate that while I'm there all I can think about is how uncomfortable I am and how much longer until I get to leave. I really hope Kevin doesn't think that I can't sit and pay attention and enjoy his hobbies and interests, which I usually can. This is terrible. I hope he understands and I can make it up to him in the future.
Before I forget, this coming week I'm going to Emerald Cove (Arizona) with my dad. I'm kind of hoping that we have time to check out how I react in some of the cities out there. I know Kevin was thinking that we could live in Sedona or maybe some place close to it. Maybe that would be a good idea if I can live in a place that is cleaner and less polluted...how could it hurt? That's a long way off. For now I will focus on checking out new places, surviving, getting well with the doctors and go back to the Gerson Therapy.
Take good care!
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Wow, I've been busy. Here is the update...
I think the nasal allergy spray was exactly what I needed! I can breathe most of the day with the swelling returning about 4 or 5 PM regularly. But those hours of fresh breathing are amazing. I have been able to think so clearly (not 100% back to normal yet, but such a massive improvement that I don't care). I have more energy because I'm not in as much pain and I have been doing more...I have been walking more, I went to the BlizzCon with Kevin, came home and then went camping to Parker, AZ with my dad for 3 nights. Note to self: I will not be moving to AZ because it was so dry my sinuses started to hurt and bleed again. Also, my tailbone hurts way more than I thought, but that's because I don't always lay around like I was and am sitting more to drive around, enjoy different activities, etc. and I don't know why but I have some serious stiffness in the upper back/lower neck area and that's annoying. Oh, my feet still hurt quite a bit.
Well, I'm home today and I have some cleaning to do and I feel totally up to it. I think I can get unpacked from my trips and get caught up on the laundry. I should be able to make lunch for Kevin and I without too many problems. I have a little headache, but I think I will just see if it will go away. Most of the swelling has gone down since BlizzCon...that was a mess for sure. I am trying to be more aware of the swelling. Oddly enough, it doesn't seem to happen from anything I'm eating or drinking...it seems environmental, as seen at the Anaheim Convention Center last week. I think it won't be too long until the rest of the swelling goes away and then I will start the Gerson on Monday, which I'm looking forward to. I think I will do much better.
My Gerson plan this time:
-Supplements 4 times per day (Gerson recommended supps)
-Supplements from NeoLife 1 packet per day
-2-3 coffee enemas a day
-1 castor oil treatment (orally, not enema) per week...maybe per month cuz it's too gross
-3-5 juices per day
-Organic produce, meats and little to no salt for 2 meals per day
-Organic oatmeal and OJ for breakfast with honey and the iodine/potassium drops added
I think this could really work. I'm ordering my juicer today. I will be going to the grocery store tomorrow to pick up the OJ (I forgot my juice on Dad's RV) and then maybe some organic meat to add to the freezer.
Well, I'm so stoked about what is going on. I think I'm on the right track to recovery and I'm so excited. I do need to get help with the feet and tailbone pain. I'm hoping that the therapy will take the pain in my feet away. We will see.
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Thought...
I was gone for nearly a week and when I came back, though tired, I was feeling a bit better. I wonder if the allergens from work are in my mattress. If they are, that would explain why its taken me so long to recover. I know that I would often come home from work and just go to bed, even in my work clothes and just pass out from exhaustion. Kevin noticed that when I first returned I felt and looked much better. But after being home a few nights the swelling and redness has returned, the headaches have returned and my energy is zapped again. Crud. To test this theory, Kevin and his cousin are taking the mattress down to the garage and we will sleep in the air mattress for a week and see how I do. If I do much better, we will remove the bed from our home and on Black Friday I will try to find a new bed set from Macy's and just put it on my Macy's card. I only have about $350 on that card, so I hope I can find a good bed for us if it comes to it.
Anyway, I started my Gerson Therapy again today. It didn't go very well...well, it went well in regards that I did some of it and I feel no worse than before. But, I woke up feeling terrible...I slept in very late, was late making and eating my breakfast, went grocery shopping and was late to start taking the supplements for the day. It was a blessing that my mom could come help me and even helped me to buy the groceries today and made me some juice. I don't think she really knows how much she helped me today. I'm so glad to have her to help me right now.
I've done one enema and I have to say, it went way better than it did in the last round of treatment...I think because there was a long gap of time to heal the sensitive areas effected by the treatments. So, I have to say it was good. Also, I have a headache, the kind that felt like an axe stuck in the top middle of my head...but now it seems to have gone after the treatment and that was a nice relief.
I have a fresh batch of soup on the stove for today and tomorrow. I forgot the exact recipe, so I got a little creative. I used a box of organic low sodium chicken broth, 1/2 parsnip, 1 bowl of brown rice, 3 stalks of celery, 1 large leek, 5 yukon gold potatoes, parley and nearly 2 handfuls of garlic smashed and lightly chopped. I did put in some pepper, but I doubt that will be a bad thing =) I'm really hoping that it tastes good and is ready soon.
Today I've only had 1 cup of organic peach oatmeal with honey and a small sliver of butter, 2 carrot/apple juices and a mango. It's nearly 3:30 and I would like some food. I'm really looking forward to it. You know, I think I might add a couple of organic chicken breasts to the soup now so it can all cook together. That should be good, yummy and basically stay on track for the therapy's requirements.
I feel like I'm mostly rambling and just wanted to give an update. Had a magically perfect day, then back downhill from there. I'm back on the therapy and we are trying to determine if my mattress is making me ill.
I will update more another day if anything important comes up.
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I'm so tired its ridiculous. Foot pain came back. Headaches and focusing issues are coming and going. But mostly I'm just so exhausted. I mean, I feel like I'm about to pass out I'm so exhausted. But when the energy comes back it's good. I wish I had some more help. All I can do is my best. So I spend my days trying to keep up with minimal house chores, cooking for myself and Kevin, taking my supplements, doing the enemas (3 per day). Surprisingly I don't really get hungry much. I thought I would be more hungry since I haven't really been juicing enough...I just can't keep up physically.
Anyway, I'm tired and I want to lay down. Just wanted to provide you with an update.
Oh, I almost forgot that I had a freakout moment that I'm 100% certain is from the detoxing that causes mood swings. The problems were always there, I just couldn't keep quiet about taking the crap anymore. It got ugly.
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I'm so tired. My right foot seems to still hurt but it way better and comes and goes. Left foot is less frequent. Headaches have drastically improved. I don't have headaches every day. I don't have constant low level type headaches. I do still get the sharp, really painful headaches here and there most days but they come and go (they go after I do a treatment) so I think its good.
I am just having a really hard time staying on schedule and sticking with the routine. I have a new rash on my ring finger, so that is disappointing. I had some major swelling after eating the food at a friend's wedding Saturday night. The swelling has mostly gone now (Tuesday), so I'm happy about that. Yesterday I did a Castor Oil treatment and that made it hard to do the enema portion because I kept going to the restroom and my stomach was really upset. Since I didn't feel good and I was tired, I actually ended up only drinking 2 glasses of OJ but never made any carrot/apple or green juices like I'm supposed to.
I think today will be better. I already woke up on time. I dealt with the water situation. I boiled some more coffee. I made and ate oatmeal and OJ already, took my morning supplements, used the nasal allergy spray and finished a treatment. I desperately need to make a carrot/apple juice and then work on my hygiene. At this point, its going to take a major push to get my stinky behind on the shower...I just want to lay down and rest. I also need to do some laundry because I'm dangerously low on washcloths, towels and underwear. Mom is on her way in a bit. She's going to stop at the store to get me more carrots, so that way I don't have to go shopping. I am hoping she will really step up and make me some juice and help me with the laundry. If she can help me with that I can bathe and rest. It would be an enormous help.
It's Thanksgiving this week. I'm not sure what to expect. I really need to do my best to stick to the therapy plans, but I might just take half of Thursday off so I can enjoy an early dinner and shopping with the family and maybe Friday morning off so I can do some more shopping. I am trying to get ready for that. Tomorrow I am baking the pumpkin apple muffins and then pumpernickel bread in the bread maker. I figured I can do both of those ahead of time and I can take as much time as I need. Also, I made a shopping list. I really think I will be going to Michael's and Macy's...I want some painting supplies and I need to get a new set of sheets and some clothes (mostly for Kevin and a few winter items for me)...I also need to be on the look out for items I need for the arts & crafts I will be making for the gifts this year.
Well, I need to go make a juice and force myself in the shower and back to bed (I don't have to force the last part, just the other bits...you know, save the best for last, like dangling a little treat in my face to help me get through the other tasks).
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The headaches have returned and brought with them nosebleeds. The old bed removal experiment was a bust and I feel like it wasn't a good study since I was doing therapy and taking the allergy meds the whole time. I feel like crap. I'm achy, tired, my head feels like it weighs a ton and there is so much pressure. The headaches I've been getting are not the normal ones that I was having before.
That's the update. Basically, everything is the same as it has been for the past few years. Gotta keep plugging away and hopefully get some positive results. Until then, at least I have a supportive fiance and hope.
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